Bitten to HELL

Portugal in late October is gorgeous, no joke. Average temperature over the last few days has been about 26 degrees C, and has gone right up to 30 at some points. There's a cool breeze, and it's that time of year when tourists have mostly given up and gone home, so right now, I and my family practically have the whole of the Algarve to ourselves.

Paradise, one might say.

Except at night.

At night, the bugs come out to play. But instead of being decent, stand-up insects, they're pure cowards. There was no sign of them during the day. Nor did they show themselves in the evening.

But at some point during the night, one decided my temple looked niiiiice and juicy. So I look as though I have some weirdly-placed hicky on the side of my face.

Who said bugs don't have a sense of humour?

Happy

Happy... but not high. It's an interesting concept; these days, so many harmless words can mean something utterly different. For example, I can not help but laugh when my piano teacher tells me 'You have the basic tune right, but your fingering is clumsy' ;p

'Gay' simply used to mean happy. Now, not only does it mean homosexual, but 'Oh it's so gay!' implies something is bad, rubbish, suckish, you get the idea. And with no bearing on the original or subsequent meaning! The word has changed three times!

I just told a friend I'm happy, and they immediately asked 'Why, what are you using?'

I am not using. I am just incredibly happy because, as per, Bagelfish has made me smile :) love you hunnie xxx

Cringe Time

Bagelfish - see list of my favourite people :) - and I had the most awesome of awesome conversations the other night.

During our usual bout of emailage, I got called away from the computer, so I bid him goodnight and told him I would email the following day.

So he said 'KK, night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite' (as you do) '...although technically they're only trying to live and reproduce in a continous cycle as any other living thing does. They eat you alive to continue that cycle.'

So I go to bed in the middle of a bed bug orgy.

Crying ;(

The most gut-wrenching video by MCR ever. Made me cry.

I love the Way brothers. Classic comic-book geeks turned rock stars.

An inspiration to all us geeks.

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=4310217

Hysteria

Maths lessons are never particularly awe-inspiring. It’s not the teacher’s fault – the world’s greatest Professor of Mathematics could not, and never will, capture the attention of a Year 10 class. It’s simply not possible. However, our teacher does his best and usually dismisses us at the end of the day having vaguely enjoyed his lesson. And how does he manage this? Simple.

The wonderful art of sarcasm.

He must have invented sarcasm. Must have. It’s simply not possible to be that good at it and not have been around when it was first developed.

It was our usual weekly double-lesson, and unfortunately for him it falls at the end of the day when, quite frankly, we’ve all had enough and just want to scream ‘Sod it all, I’m leaving’, or words to that effect. Now, in that lesson, he had been particularly sarcastic and had given the class cause to break out in deranged laughter on several occasions, none of which truly warranted such a response. But the last time this happened had me seriously flawed, and I could not for the life of me work out just what everybody found so funny. Perhaps it was the dry comment I made when the hysterics had died down, or maybe just that we had, on that day, been pushed just a little too far by spending an hour learning about gradients.

The teacher went up to the Smartboard, went into the tools tab, and dragged out a ready-made axis. This was one of those cross-shaped ones with negative and positive numbers as oppose to the more simple ones we use more regularly with just the positive numbers. There were sudden hisses of ‘Wow, look at that’ and ‘Oh that’s just so cool!’ from all round the class. Apart from anything else, it was just these two phrases with hardly any alteration, being repeated by nearly two dozen people, which got more than slightly annoying after a while.

But what I was really confused about was the fact it was an axis. An axis.

Friggin’ hell guys, it’s two sticks crossed over with numbers stuck on. Get lives.

I am a bad person!

I did an article for the newspaper a couple of weeks back complaining about the postal service in my area, because my GCSE result that was coming in the post didn't get to me until 3 o'clock so I was totally bricking it.

But my postman came round today, apparently. He was very upset and had been very distressed about the article.

I feel awful. How to explain I look for things which I can take the piss out of? How to explain that I'm not an evil person sent straight from hell to torment the postmen of this world?!

HOW?!

I am a bad, bad person.

And to make things worse? This picture is going to haunt my dreams.